Dr. Julianne Hanson

Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-25T20:17:00.001-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

Just received a, “talking to,” from one of my dearest friends. This friend was amazed that even when specifically asked how someone could improve their relationships skills, I didn’t include my own counseling services in the list of referrals. My friend understands that my counseling is how I pay the bills, and, perhaps they would like me to take them to lunch more often:).

So, here is my offer to you. If you would like to have a session with me, please go to MauiSpiritualCounseling.com and click on the, “Session Request,” page. Many of my sessions are done via phone or Skype, so I’m able to have clients from around our beautiful world. Just include in your message on the, “Session Request,” page that you are responding to the offer in my blog. I will give you the same lower price usually given only to Hawaii residents, until the end of February, 2/29/12. The discount is about 15%, so please take me up on this offer now. I would be honored to be of service to you.

O.K. Had to gently talk myself through that advertisement. It’s easier for me to promote other teachers. I need to focus on the benefits my clients say they receive from our time together–perhaps that will reduce feeling self-conscious and focus my attention where it needs to be, on showing up with you.

Now can I go ahead and give another recommendation about which I’m very excited? Good:). The teacher with whom I’ve been studying evolutionary spirituality for the past two years, Craig Hamilton, is giving a free meditation this next Sunday, 1/29/12. Here is part of the notice I received today:

“Our next free, ‘Meditation for Evolutionaries,’ event will take place this Sunday, January 29th, at 8:00 AM Pacific Standard Time.

This event is a free monthly meditation gathering of more than 1,000 participants from around the world, hosted by Integral Enlightenment founder Craig Hamilton.

This 90-minute event will begin with a brief talk about meditation, followed by a 45-minute guided meditation and a 30-minute Q&A session during which you can ask your questions about meditation and receive direct guidance from Craig.

If you would like to invite family and friends to the meditation, please share the link: http://integralenlightenment.com/evolutionary-meditation.”

I passionately encourage you to attend this live, on-line meditation, with one the the leading teachers of evolutionary spirituality/enlightenment. My experience with Craig Hamilton has been truly transformative.

For the past two years, I’ve been part of an intentional on-line community created by Craig, the Evolutionary Life Transformation Program (ELTP). It has been both deeply challenging and inspiring. ELTP does not promote a specific religion or dogma. The teachings offer a path to becoming fully alive and purposeful in how we embody the evolutionary impulse that is urging humanity towards the good, the true, the beautiful, and the holy.

The sweetest part of my experience with evolutionary spirituality has been connecting with the dear souls who’ve come together to explore our essential inter-relatedness. The focus of this practice is waking up together in our relationships, communities, and our world. I hope you will share in this sacred process. Joining Sunday’s meditation would be a wonderful first step for anyone feeling a call to explore the evolutionary perspective.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: chaplain, consciousness, counseling, Craig Hamilton, enlightenment, evolutionary community, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, finding a spiritual psychologist, God, Hawaii, integral enlightenment, integral spirituality, Intuition, Julianne Hanson, love, Maui, meditation, phone counseling, Prayer, Psychology, psychotherapy, Relationship Advice, relationship counseling, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spirituality, transpersonal psychologist, Unity

Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-24T22:46:00.000-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

A reader asked after viewing the last post, “So what do they do now,” meaning, how do the students described, one very experienced, one just beginning, take the next step in evolving their relationships?

There are many ways to develop/nurture an awareness of our natural inter-relatedness. Which pathway we choose depends on our personal preferences and depth of interest/commitment. I’ll continue to give the major references in integral and evolutionary spirituality that have been so transformative in my own experience, Craig Hamilton’s IntegralEnlightenment.com, Andrew Cohen’s EnlightenNext.org, and Ken Wilber’s IntegralLife.com. If you browse through those sites, something is sure to peak your interest, to invite you to explore deeper.

Perhaps Ken Wilber’s work provides the broadest historical, intellectual frame for integral/evolutionary thought. If you find yourself attracted to his approach, read his book, “Integral Spirituality,” published in 2006. There are many opportunities for students to engage in the various offerings on IntegralLife.com. Andrew Cohen’s work, EnlightenNext.org, presents opportunities to both study and practice the evolutionary perspective. His recently published book, “Evolutionary Enlightenment,” 2011, is an essential primer on evolutionary spirituality. Andrew’s book is thrillingly hopeful–I passionately recommend it to you.

Craig Hamilton’s (IntegralEnlightenment.com) focus has been on creating a virtual practice community, that meets twice a year for live retreats. The winter retreat was just last weekend, at Asilomar in Northern California. I’ve been studying with Craig for two years now, in his Evolutionary Life Transformation Program (ELTP). While his focus is on the practical integration of evolutionary principles into daily life, Craig also provides an intellectual foundation for evolutionary practice. My experience with him has been profoundly inspiring, and life altering. Students from all around the world, of different cultures, religions and ages have come together, committed to shifting their core identities from, “me,” to, “We,” awakening to the truth of our unity as Spirit in form.

So let’s go back to the two students from my previous post. The older, been-around-the-spiritual-block, seeker has firmly engrained beliefs, some, hard-earned wisdom, and some, continuing illusions. Short of a miraculous, bolt-of-lightening type of revelation (which can indeed occur, not often, but it can), he will need to courageously explore his conditioned patterns, be willing to challenge those patterns, and practice making very different choices. The best way to facilitate this process is by a commitment to sustained practice in an evolutionary community. We cannot evolve our relationships in solitary practice. How obvious this appears, and yet, many of us have been trying to do just that.

The younger student, just discovering the possibility of true communion with others, has many potential avenues of learning how to connect with greater depth. He can also dive into practice with an evolutionary community. The youngest members of Craig Hamilton’s ELTP continually amaze the rest of us with their insight and facility for evolving their relationships.

Our younger brother would benefit from joining any group dedicated to creating positive change together, whether that group has a spiritual, environmental, political, or artistic focus. His experiences would lead him to a higher, deeper exploration of our shared reality.

I want to give two references to teachings on evolutionary relationship that are more intuitively oriented. Some of us need a solid intellectual foundation from which to best open ourselves to an experiential awareness of that which is beyond the mind. The above teachers provide that, in a rich and liberating way. Some of us need to explore evolutionary relationship in a more intuitive, even sensory fashion, to stay engaged.

Thomas Huebl (ThomasHuebl.com) is a spiritual teacher from Austria who uses deep intuitive processes to cultivate, “the new We,” in societal transformation. Thomas facilitates an annual, “Celebrate Life Festival,” in Europe each summer, and is offering more workshops in the U.S. Patricia Albere’s site, EvolutionaryCollective.com, focuses on our relationships and ways of experiencing our divine inter-relatedness. Patricia was one of the first est facilitators, with Werner Erhart, at the beginning of the human potential movement in the 1970′s. (I did one process with her a couple weeks ago, she was very nice, and I’m pretty sure she would have let me go to the bathroom–est demanded a certain discipline, back in the day:).

It’s my honor and pleasure to learn from all these teachers. I’ll be sharing their perspectives, and my experience of their teachings, with you, as we continue on our path of evolving relationship, together. I hope you will allow the Holy Spirit, the evolutionary impulse, to guide you in your exploration, for the greatest good of us all.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: Andrew Cohen, chaplain, consciousness, counseling, Craig Hamilton, enlightenment, est, evolutionary community, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, finding a spiritual psychologist, God, Hawaii, integral, integral enlightenment, integral spirituality, intuitive, Julianne Hanson, Maui, Patricia Albere, phone counseling, Prayer, Psychology, psychotherapy, Relationship Advice, relationship counseling, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spirituality, Thomas Huebl, transpersonal psychologist, Unity, We space

Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-19T02:05:00.000-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

Maui is a diverse island, and I tend to be in circles that include a wide range of cultures, religions, interests and ages. Living close to many different types of people has become a delightful norm for me. I really don’t think I would feel as at home in a more homogenous community.

This week I had the fascinating experience of sharing some introductory material on evolutionary relationship with two very different students.

One man was in his late sixties, from Eastern Europe. He began practicing Buddhism 30 years ago, and spent many years traveling and studying with teachers in Malaysia and Japan. He was a very sophisticated man, and an experienced seeker of truth.

This gentleman was familiar with the basic philosophical and metaphysical concepts that come forth in a discussion based on evolutionary spirituality. He interrupted me after five minutes, stating in a dismissive fashion, “There isn’t anything new in that–they’re just calling it something different.” His cynicism seemed to prevent him from being able to consider anything from the, “beginner’s mind,” considered so important by many schools of Buddhist thought. He spoke of feeling stuck in some key relationships, and didn’t see any way to move forward.

The second man was in his early twenties, a mix of local cultures, Hawaiian, Filipino, and Chinese. His parents had not regularly practiced any religion when he was growing up, and he had not felt any particular call to explore spirituality on his own. This young man was very forthright in sharing that he had never felt an emotionally intimate connection with another human being. He was truly naive, without an understanding or experience of the quality of relationship possible between people.

I began to realize I was verbalizing integral concepts that must have sounded like a foreign language to this student. Yet, words such as, “deeper, more real, authentic care, discovering how inter-related we truly are, waking up together,” resonate, on some level, with all souls. I watched this young man’s face as I described the evolutionary impulse urging us to move forward into genuinely mutual, sacred relationship. His eyes filled with longing–I could tell he was seeing with the eye of the heart, hearing with the ear of the heart.

Which of these two students, both divine embodiments of Spirit in form, one with a lifetime of spiritual practice, determined to see the future through the lens of the past, one just learning of the possibility of feeling deeply connected with others and longing to feel more, do you think will have an easier time evolving their relationships?

It’s never too early, it’s never too late. In this now moment, becoming, we can choose a more real life, a holy life, a life deeply connected to those with whom we share this earth.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: chaplain, consciousness, counseling, enlightenment, evolutionary community, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, God, Hawaii, integral, integral enlightenment, integral spirituality, intuitive, Julianne Hanson, love, Maui, phone counseling, Prayer, Psychology, psychotherapy, Relationship Advice, relationship counseling, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spiritual relationship, spirituality, transpersonal psychologist, Unity

Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-15T02:04:00.002-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

First, for those asking to subscribe and receive my posts (thank you very much, I love you, too:), giving you a heads up that it’s going to be another week or so until my Word Press update makes that and other new things available from the blog link on MauiSpiritualCounseling.com’s menu. I so appreciate your interest and enthusiasm!

You have send me many wonderful, warm, inspiring comments of support. I am deeply grateful for your openness of mind and heart. Of all the comments I’ve received thus far, only one has expressed disappointment.

That reader found nothing original in my posts, rather, much whining about things that could be fixed, if we weren’t so busy looking for awareness. I was surprised when first reading the comment–nothing about the evolutionary perspective on relationship, my readers’ questions, or my answers, seems whinny to me. But there is great value in focusing a practical lens on any spiritually-oriented discussion. For this opportunity to clarify my intention, I am thankful to the reader.

The only real evidence we have of deeper understanding is how we are living in our relationships. Our relationships are a sacred laboratory, where we explore the reality of what we believe, what we think we know, how we feel, and what we are willing to do about it. Embarking on a journey of spiritual discovery is a good and noble thing. For some, it has become the necessary thing, the response to a deep longing, to a lifetime of urging from the Holy Spirit, the evolutionary impulse.

Being on a journey of spiritual discovery, and taking it seriously, is not an excuse to withdraw from the practical needs of our relationships. Indeed, each and every nuance, any glimpse we have of greater truth, makes us more responsible for bringing that awareness directly into our relationships. How else are we to know if we know anything new? If we are unable to change in the ways we say we want to, if we are not choosing differently, have we really learned anything?

It’s true that there is some confusion around the evolving paradigm of enlightenment. We are all familiar with the iconic guru on the mountain top, meditating away all awareness of life in form. Sometimes, individuals that awaken in relative isolation can become inadvertent teachers for many, and we are all beneficiaries. This model of illumination, an internal attainment of the individual, perhaps within a small religious community, has existed throughout history. Those with calls on their hearts to experience a devotional life often go off to various forms of monasteries and convents. These souls earnestly seek divine revelation, surrendered to a life of celibacy and service. How purely inspirational–if that is truly one’s path.

In reality, only a very small number of us flourish within that austere setting. Most of us are meant to live in the larger world, to have a mate, to bond deeply with a number of people in different types of relationships. Most of us are meant to love, and share love, in every way possible for humans.

An emerging model of enlightenment suggests that our consciousness has now evolved to the point where we are capable of waking up, together. It is possible for us to experience a shared awareness of a higher, deeper, sacred oneness between us, a loving, non-dual reality. This is a potential shift in our awareness from me, to we. Small groups exploring this process are calling this shared consciousness the, “We space” (see Andrew Cohen’s, “Evolutionary Enlightenment,” 2011). For those familiar with integral terminology, the “We space,” is the fourth quadrant, the group internal consciousness (see Ken Wilber’s, “Integral Spirituality,” 2006).

This shared experience of inter-relatedness, this awareness between us of deep care, of a sacred impulse to show up as that care in the world, is real, and available. In the two years I’ve been part of Craig Hamilton’s, Evolutionary Life Transformation Program (IntegralEnlightenment.com), I have experienced the, “We space,” in practice circles and evolutionary partnerships. I’ve facilitated small groups that were able to enter that field of unified, expanded consciousness. It is beyond wonderful. I’ll tell you more about my experience in future posts.

One of the most wonderful things about the We, is the shift in motivation that occurs. Our motivation moves from a focus on our individual preferences, to a deep desire to act on behalf of the greatest good–not in a way that devalues our individual gifts, indeed, as more authentic beings free of the conditioning that can suppress our unique talents.

The cutting edge of human consciousness leads us right back to deep responsibility for the quality of our relationships. Want to be more spiritual? Got enlightenment (who said that?:)? No need to, “get thee to a nunnery,” (and who said that?) anymore. Go on retreats, yes. But those of us with a strong urge to wake up can now choose to do it together, in marriages, in friendships, with partners at work or play. It takes commitment, it takes practice, and, in this evolutionary paradigm, becoming more conscious also requires deep commitment to our intimate relationships and friendships.

We have a sacred responsibility to show up for each other. As we become more awake, we grow an awareness of being responsible to all of humanity.

So, after taking longer to make my point than intended, here is the bottom line. My intention in inviting you to explore a deeper dimension of relationship, is not to cast you adrift on an amorphous metaphysical sea of individual seeking until you attain some certainty enabling you to swim to relational shores. My intention is to encourage you to explore deeper truths in your real life relationships, and find practical, inspirational ways of moving forward, together.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: Andrew Cohen, chaplain, consciousness, counseling, counseling from Maui, Craig Hamilton, enlightenment, evolutionary community, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, God, Hawaii, integral, integral enlightenment, integral spirituality, intuitive, Julianne Hanson, Ken Wilber, love, Maui, phone counseling, Psychology, psychotherapy, Relationship Advice, relationship counseling, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spirituality, transpersonal psychologist, Unity, We space

Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-12T01:52:00.000-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

Found myself wondering–did the last post seem a little harsh? In asking us all to become more awake in our relationships, am I asking too much?

So many of us have gone through long periods of feeling defeated by relationship–by a relationship within which we feel emotional pain, by a relationship left by our partner, by our longing for relationship. Many of us are in that place of experiencing some kind of despair around relationship, right now.

What more understandable source of despair could there be than our knowing something is missing from the way our heart connects with another’s? Whatever our theology might be about our origins, whether we believe we are individual expressions of a single divine mystery, inexorably linked, or not–it’s clear we need each other. Whatever the cosmic truth may be, on this earth, we need each other deeply.

We long for the real thing–for relationships wherein we are seen and accepted and appreciated for our true selves. We want to be known, to be valued for our gifts, to share our dreams and have them encouraged. Most of us want to experience this profound connection with a mate, to have a special bond with a life partner. This desire is so deep, so natural, we think we know what the real thing, true love, must be like, look like, feel like. We have millennia of expectations built up about our relationships, and are programmed with ample fantasies to keep us on automatic pilot.

When our expectations are not met, what are we supposed to think? So many past associations pop up to fill our heads, it’s hard for us to know what we actually think, or feel. Our defenses quickly blame the other, blame circumstances, blame some story about our own limitations. There may be some truth in any or all of these–but there is a bigger truth.

The bigger truth, the saving grace, is about who we are, really. If we are steeped in a cultural identity of a separate self, at the mercy of past conditioning (not only ours and our family’s, but of all our ancestors), how can we be free to even know our true selves, much less another? The path to personal freedom, and the path to true love, are the same. Begin to consider an identity, a self, that is not now, and has never been, separate from its source. Allow yourself to imagine being an essential part of a divine blueprint, becoming more awake to its true nature with each moment, a nature that is inter-related to all others, to its creator, to the sacred mystery, to God.

If we can begin to wake up to this larger identity, limitations of the past begin to drop away. We begin to see with fresh eyes, to hear with the ear of a grander heart. We listen, and hear a call to serve a higher, deeper power, a sacred evolutionary impulse, that animates all that exists. Hearing that call is the beginning of our journey on the path of true love, a love that is ever unfolding, a love that needs us to help it evolve to a vibrantly awake, holy consciousness shared by all humanity.

Our freedom to experience that greater love begins with a new awareness of our ability to choose. We can only be more responsible, to ourselves, in our relationships, if we believe that we are able to choose, to make different choices than the ones that have led to heartbreak and isolation. We can choose to begin walking this path of evolving love now, together.

I’ll continue to give you the resources that are the most powerfully revelatory and inspiring for me. I’ve been blessed to study evolutionary spirituality with Craig Hamilton for the last two years. Craig’s site, IntegralEnlightenment.com, gives many resources for beginning on the evolutionary path, along with opportunities for deeper study and ongoing practice with an online community. Craig Hamilton was the Senior Editor of, “What Is Enlightenment? (WIE),” magazine, founded by Andrew Cohen. WIE is now, EnlightenNext.org, an online magazine and evolutionary network. In addition to publishing, “EnlightenNext,” Andrew Cohen has just written, “Evolutionary Enlightenment,” (available on Amazon), an essential primer on evolutionary spirituality.

An integral perspective on life, meaning, relationship, culture, spirituality, can be widely explored on IntegralLife.com, Ken Wilber’s, “online town square,” for integral/evolutionary thought and practice. Ken Wilber’s book, “Integral Spirituality,” addresses the deep queries of seekers and intellectuals, alike.

I’m becoming acquainted with a new site, evolutionarycollective.com, with Patricia Albere, who hosts interviews with leaders in evolutionary thought. I’m studying a course on evolutionary relationship that Patricia has begun offering, and will happily share some of the insights with you.

If you feel drawn towards any of these resources, please do take the time to check them out. It’s almost impossible for us to get underneath our conditioning on our own–we need interaction with and feedback from others on the path of true love, the path of evolving relationship. Together, we can move forward from, “me,” to the possibility of, “We.”

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: Andrew Cohen, chaplain, consciousness, counseling, Craig Hamilton, enlightenment, EnlightenNext, evolutionary community, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, evolutionarycollective, God, Hawaii, integral, integral spirituality, IntegralEnlightenment, IntegralLife, intuitive, Julianne Hanson, Ken Wilber, love, Maui, Patricia Albere, phone counseling, Prayer, Psychology, psychotherapy, Relationship Advice, relationship counseling, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spirituality, transpersonal psychologist, Unity, We space

Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-08T21:53:00.000-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

I’ve just discovered many wonderful comments in the WordPress spam folder! Will begin responding to them tomorrow–I’m grateful to each soul who resonated with the deeper message in my blog, and who reached out from around the world to connect with me, and with each other.

A friend has been talking with me about his recent breakup with a girlfriend whom he adored. One of the areas of relationship I promised to write about is when to let go, and how to consciously uncouple. There are some people in the world who fall in love with their first date and stay with that person until one of them transitions to the next life (yes, there really are:). For most of us, there has been a parting of the ways with someone for whom we cared.

Whether or not we initiated the parting, breaking up is indeed hard to do. There is a debate about which scenario results in a greater emotional burden, having your own heart broken, or breaking the heart of another. If we are the one being left, and it comes to us as a surprise that our lover no longer wants us, it’s difficult to understand the price they may be paying for their decision. If our lover goes directly into the arms of someone else, believing that their heart is impacted by what happened between us is even harder.

Yet, everything each of us does, counts. Everything each us of does impacts all of us. We can’t fully understand the process of another along the twists and turns of their path. We can, and must, for our own heart, for the heart of the world, take responsibility for our own choices.

Everything happens between people, even when one person is obviously behaving badly. Let me be clear, I’m not excusing abuse of any kind. I’m asking all of us to become more awake in our relationships, to be more conscious of what is really happening. Whether only one person feels the need to move on, or both people are unhappy and agree to part, we all must develop a greater capacity to see the truth of our relationship.

Go on a short journey of discovery with me. Think of your last breakup. Some will need to reach back to a time long past, and some are in the middle of a painful breakup right now. Just give yourself permission to tell the truth, and ask the Holy Spirit, the Power of Love, for guidance to see clearly.

Imagine the beginning of your relationship. Were there significant differences on things important to you? Did you and your new boyfriend/girlfriend disagree on spirituality, altruism, politics, sexuality, children, importance of career, how to handle money, how to have fun, or the value of marriage? When you met their family, did you feel welcomed? Did you feel a resonance with their friends? When you observed your new love in the world, were you comfortable with the way they treated others? Can you say that you respected and admired them? Did you feel respected, admired, and valued by them?

I’m not asking if you found the other person to be perfect, or a perfect match, in any of these areas–that kind of perfection probably does not exist in form. I’m asking if, in any of these ways, or in a way important to you, there was an inner awareness of not being, “met,” of a lack of mutuality that registered as a kind of warning, either as a physical discomfort, or a mental, “red flag.”

Next, ask yourself, “What did I believe was going to happen with those red flags?” Did you imagine that love would overcome them? Did you believe your lover would change, well, enough, for love to overcome all obstacles? Did you imagine you could change yourself enough to make it work? Did it?

When we are very young, we tend to opt for an experience, for an adventure in love, versus choosing a truly compatible partner with whom to begin a relationship. The time comes, for most of us, when we want the real thing. If we are actually ready for the real thing, or, actually want to be ready (we’ve got to ask ourselves this question, we can’t take the answer for granted), then, we need to take more responsibility for choosing a lover/mate whose values align with ours.

We need to take more responsibility for paying deep attention to the quality of our connection, and for being honest with ourselves and our partner. We need to be courageous in bringing up both our hopes and concerns. We need to be willing to see where our expectations were ours alone, and not based on any evidence provided by our partner. We need to get clear about the chances of any of our core needs being met. Getting clear is not about finding fault with the other, even if their actions have been egregious, by any sane person’s standards. Getting clear is telling ourselves the truth about whether this person and us are enough of a fit to move forward together, and then taking responsibility for acting on that truth.

Sometimes, what does feel good has kept us in a situation where lots of other things don’t feel good. The day comes when the things that don’t feel good feel bad enough to make the good part not worth it anymore. At this point, a couple with some commitment can choose to seek help from a counselor, or trusted clergy (if the spiritual dimension of your life is important to you, please consider looking for a transpersonal or integral psychologist/ psychotherapist). If there isn’t a real commitment, one person usually leaves.

If we are the one left, we can feel rejected, devalued, betrayed, even unlovable. Our human tendency is to see ourselves as the victim. It’s difficult to see the gift in our situation, as we sit alone, with a heart full of misery. Yet, it’s also difficult to argue with the truth–if our relationship is over, it needs to be over. If being together wasn’t working for our partner, it’s much better to know it sooner rather than later. If we are honest with ourselves, we admit the ways the relationship wasn’t working for us, either.

When we have extended our heart and shared ourselves, grieving over the loss of that closeness, that human contact, is only natural. How many times have we grieved over losing a relationship that, if we tell ourselves the truth, never really had a chance? Or that seemed so right, but went so wrong? We all long for love, to give love, to be loved. It’s all too easy to deny the reality of a relationship growing distant, to pretend not to see, not to feel the hurt.

If we want the real thing, we’ve got to wake up. We can’t sleepwalk through our relationship disconnects. We need to take responsibility for addressing these disconnects directly, when we experience them. We need to get conscious help. If our partner won’t participate, we need to let go. If they’ve already gone, we need to trust that as we become more aware of what really matters to us, and show up that way in the world, we will attract someone who shares our values, and who passionately wants to be with us.

There is much advise available on all aspects of this issue. One of the best resources I’ve found is from a woman who wrote a bestseller about finding your soulmate. Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of, “Calling In The One,” is now offering a digital series called, “Conscious Uncoupling,” http://evolvingwisdom.com/consciousuncoupling/enroll. You can download a free seminar introducing the series at http://evolvingwisdom.com/consciousuncoupling/download. I know, some irony here–but hey, you don’t want to hear from someone who only focuses on on things not working out, do you? Katherine has learned much from her years of researching what brings couples together, and now is sharing about a more conscious approach to letting go. Check out her course and let me know what you think.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: chaplain, conscious uncoupling, consciousness, counseling, counseling from Maui, couples counseling, enlightenment, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, finding a spiritual psychologist, God, integral, integral enlightenment, integral spirituality, intuitive, Julianne Hanson, Katherine Woodward Thomas, love, Maui, phone counseling, Prayer, Psychology, psychotherapy, Relationship Advice, relationship counseling, singles, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spiritual relationship, spirituality, transpersonal psychologist

Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-06T01:24:00.001-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

There are many things I want to share with you, many ways of exploring our evolving capacity for deeper, mutual relationship. I also want to answer your practical questions about relationship issues most of us face.

A question came to me this week from someone who has read all my blog posts.

They love my down-to-earth advice. They specially enjoy my attempts to bring humor and hope to relationship, whether for singles looking, or for couples looking for something more together. They are intrigued by the evolutionary perspective on relationship about which I’ve begun writing, but confessed to not feeling ready for it. ”I’m willing to take responsibility for myself, and I want to be a better partner. The evolutionary stuff is very interesting, and I’d like to believe what I do makes a real difference in the world–but it kind of sounds like something for people who’ve got everyday problems handled. How can you expect regular people to feel responsible to everybody? Maybe down the road, I’ll be able to take that on.”

This is a valid question, and an honest response to the biggest picture world view I’ve ever encountered, evolutionary spirituality/ evolutionary relationship. I get that being asked to consider the greatest good, in everything from how we love, how we do business, to which thoughts we think, is overwhelming. Any sane human is humbled by the realization that, “God has no hands but ours.”

Yet, not only are we being called to realize our big picture responsibility, we are now actually being called to lean into the edge of our understanding of it. We are called to act boldly on behalf of the greatest good, even as we question what it is, what our relationship is to it, and what our relationship is to each other.

Perhaps the best known teacher of evolutionary spirituality is Andrew Cohen, with whom my current teacher, Craig Hamilton (IntegralEnlightenment.com), studied. Andrew’s new book, “Evolutionary Enlightenment,” is a wonderful explanation of the evolutionary perspective. I highly recommend it to you. Andrew also publishes an online magazine/ evolutionary network, EnlightenNext.org, in which he writes a, “Quote of the Week.” The quote I just received in my email speaks beautifully to the question of just how much consciousness we are ready to take on.

In All Your Imperfection

It’s important to remember that your ego—your separate personal self-sense and all its culturally conditioned tendencies—is just not awake to the urgent need for your participation in the evolutionary process. That’s why your ego is convinced that it has all the time in the world to be eternally busy with its own self-improvement. It says, “Well,I’m not ready because I’m not perfect yet.” But that’s just the ego’s perennial excuse to avoid the overwhelming urgency of the evolutionary context of being alive. Did you ever meet anybody who was actually perfect? I don’t think perfection exists within manifestation. If you want to experience perfection—inherent perfection; unborn, uncreated perfection—meditate. As you gain the capacity to transcend a conditioned relationship to thought, memory, and time, you will eventually awaken to the timeless, formless, infinite ground of your own being and you’ll experience that which is perfect.

But when we reenter the manifest realm of time, space, and form, we leave perfection behind, in order to create ourselves anew through the evolutionary process. And perfection will never be reached here. So when the ego tells you that because you are not perfect, you are not ready yet, it traps you in a spiritually and evolutionarily self-defeating cycle. A big part of awakening to spiritual maturity is realizing that, even in all your imperfection, you are ready to take responsibility.

While you realize that perfection is unattainable, you aspire for it, always reaching higher and further. You are ready to be responsible for creating the future, right now, even though your ego may kick and scream all the way. And your liberation, your enlightenment, in every moment, depends upon that. It’s not easy. You have to be a warrior, you have to be an exemplar, even though you know that you’re not perfect. So you have to deal with the reality of your human frailty, with the inherent contradictions in your character, and still be bold and brave enough to be willing to take responsibility for all of this. If you do, then the power of spirit will enter into your heart, your body, and your mind and you will begin to express That, in spite of all your imperfection. And then you, as a human being, don’t have to be perfect, because Spirit already is.—Andrew Cohen, 1/4/12

Can we allow ourselves to move from plain, “overwhelmed,” to, “overwhelmed by the power of Spirit,” entering into our hearts as we take responsibility for creating the future of conscious relationship?

If you can say, “Yes,” let’s dive in together, and see where Spirit leads us.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-03T20:56:00.001-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

How is 2012 looking/feeling so far? Would love to hear about your New Year’s adventure on our path of evolving consciousness. All my contact info is on my site, please click, “Maui Spiritual Counseling,” to visit me there and leave a message, or, write a comment below this post.

Can I ask for tech support/advice, in the spirit of wanting to be available to readers in the way that’s for the greatest good? O.K., will try my best to communicate in what is definitely not my first language, geek-speak (is that offensive? please forgive lack of familiarity with suitable programming social mores, I have deep respect for your expertise).

I discovered only two months ago that MauiSpiritualCounseling.com has two blog platforms, WordPress, and Google. The WP blog is found on the left-side menu, and the google blog is accessed on the, “About Me,” page, in the text of the last paragraph, where it says, “Get to know Dr. Julianne by visiting her blog.” The latter blog has it’s own address, “DrJulianne.blogspot.com.” This revelation (undisclosed by my truly brilliant, evolutionary, consultant at the time of his updating my site), made me aware of the need to copy each post in both platforms.

It’s time to take, “Ask Dr. Julianne,” to the next level, and great resources are now available to me. It certainly seems like having one platform would be the logical way to proceed, and many blogging gurus are lining up with WordPress…yes? So, I was playing around inside my google blog, trying to educate myself about any features I might miss by consolidating with WP, and discovered the, “Statistics,” link (maybe the current WP release has all kinds of stats, but I am just learning these things, go ahead and sigh, I won’t hold it against you).

I was astonished to see that people from all over the world are reading my blog! I’m only beginning, after all.

Wonderful souls from Europe, especially France (I have a B.A. in French, so must give shout out: Salut, chers amis, comment ca va? J’ai etudie a la Sorbonne pour un ete, il y a longtemps, et vous m’avez traite tres gentiment.), the United Kingdom, Germany, Russia, Slovenia, and Serbia, from China, Taiwan and Malaysia, from India, from Australia, from Africa, from South America, from Canada, as well as all parts of the USA, are exploring, leaning forward together, on this evolutionary journey!

This makes me so happy! You make me feel like everything along the path that has polished me within an inch of my life, and continues to relentlessly polish us all, is very much worth it. Thank you, with my whole heart.

So, dear ones who read me on DrJulianne.blogspot.com, if my blog had not been on a Google platform, would you still have found me?

Beloved gear-heads (a dear friend wears a T-shirt that proclaims him to be so, don’t blame me), what shall I do? Consolidate to WP, or no?

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Ask Dr. Julianne

2012-01-02T00:21:00.002-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

Happy New Year’s Day. Maui is spectacularly beautiful today. Blues of sky and sea, greens of palm trees and exotic plants, fragrant flowers painted bright fuschia, all alive and vibrant in the soft sunshine. Gentle trade winds blow across small waves, tease blossoms, and caress my face. I feel a part of everything flowing and ever-changing.

Just got done watching the last half hour of, “Close Encounters of the Third Kind,” for the, God-knows-how-many, time. Even with the passionate contingent of true alien believers on Maui, I’m not really a space brother/space sister, kind of new-ager. It’s pretty logical that other beings exist in the galaxy. I just don’t go around focusing on them. We have plenty to do here. Don’t get me wrong, I love SciFi. I’d be happy giving tax dollars to NASA, so that we can, “boldly go where no one has gone before.”

That wonder of going forward into the unknown, is what resonated so deeply with me, watching, “Close Encounters.” It seemed downright prophetic, this time–of change in motion.

How many times have thoughts like, “Things will never change. I had dreams, goals, for 2011, the same ones I’ve had for so long. How will anything ever be different,” crossed your mind? Or is it just me? At the end of each year, we are besieged with well-meaning emails, classes, invitations of all sorts, trying to give us a new twist on goal setting. All these promise us that if we can just tweak the process the right way, our goals will come to fruition.

Yes, there are ways of focusing our intention that make our dreams more likely to take shape, to grow into recognizable form. Taking small, consistent steps, day after day, and giving each step a deadline, or due date, is one. Being willing to try something we’ve never done before is another.

There is a new, evolutionary perspective, a bigger truth I’m asking all of us to consider. Whatever we do, it’s never just about us. Our sweetest, wildest dream, if we imagine living it, are we ever alone? Isn’t there someone, or many, sharing it with us? Just imagine the most powerful manifestation of your dream impacting, blessing the earth, and everyone on it. How does it look? How does it feel?

You may be imagining something very grand. A multi-modal, global healing center, somehow accessible to anyone in need, is the big dream of more Mauians than I can count, and what a beautiful, altruistic dream. Here’s the thing–each choice, no matter how small, of the dreamer, is just as important, potentially just as beautiful, just as altruistic, as the grander vision.

One day, we get out of bed, and we don’t want to work on the planned step towards our goal. It’s such a small thing, not glamorous, not leading to any clear result on its own. Maybe it’s not even an action towards the goal itself, but an internal preparation, like a daily meditation practice. On the days when we haven’t had enough sleep the night before, or we were disappointed by a friend before breakfast, from where does our motivation come? What does it matter?

It matters, dear ones, because we are responsible to each other in this life. If we give up, we take away from our brothers and sisters. If we do that which is right for us to do, we contribute to the well being of our family, our community, our country, our earth, to all humanity. This is easy enough for good, spiritual people to get on board with, intellectually, even emotionally. But when it is real for us, when this sacred interconnection becomes our lived reality, a miracle happens.

Our motivation shifts. We may not feel like doing the right thing for ourselves, when it is especially inconvenient, or if we feel inadequate to the demand. But, we have a deep and abiding awareness of everyone in our circles, and their circles, depending on us, needing us to show up as the very best within us. Our love for these precious ones, our commitment to them, lifts us up, makes it possible for us to act for the greater good. Then, miracle of wonders, we discover that doing what is for the greatest good, however difficult or terrifying it seemed, turns out to be our greatest happiness, also–not in abstract, but in the most real, bottom-line, fulfilling, exciting way.

More of us are waking up to our innate inter-relatedness. A divinely inspired evolution of our consciousness is unfolding. In a world motivated by doing the right thing for the greatest good, we don’t need to worry about, “How will anything ever be different?” For any pattern of limitation, any holding back from expressing all the love of God, becoming–its days are numbered. Something more good, more true, more beautiful, and more holy, is emerging.

As 2012 begins, we are indeed going where no one has gone before, together.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-12-30T22:35:00.000-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

I was blessed with a wonderful experience today. The experience is unique to Maui, and to my little part of South Maui, Ma’alaea Bay. Every year, around mid-October, Humpback whales begin to return to the waters of West and South Maui. The whales spend April-September around Alaska, feeding. In the fall, they begin their long swim South, towards Hawaii.

Humpbacks come to Maui to have babies, and to make more. In the eight years I’ve lived on Ma’alaea Bay, I’ve seen three baby Humpbacks born from my third floor lanai, or balcony. The mamma whale gracefully swims around to her new calf, and ever-so-gently, puts her nose underneath it and lifts it just above the surface of the water, so the baby can take its first breath. It is an enchanting and deeply touching display of loving care.

Ma’alaea Bay is a natural harbor, about five miles down the road from South Maui, towards the West side of the island. Our beautiful aquarium, the Maui Ocean Center, is in Ma’alaea. A variety of fishing and pleasure boats dock in the harbor, and a few small shops dot the shore. It takes me about five minutes to walk down to the harbor shops, past the modern Coast Guard station, and the old Buddhist temple long closed to the public.

Ma’alaea is home to the Pacific Whale Foundation (pacificwhale.org), a research and educational facility that promotes the welfare of cetaceans, dolphins, sea turtles, monk seals, and other ocean life, as well as whales. The staff of scientists and mariners are remarkable people, truly dedicated to protecting the ocean and all the beings that live in it.

Humpback whales are the local stars of the sea. Visitors come from around the world each year to participate in the Pacific Whale Foundation’s educational and monitoring programs, and to go on whale watch cruises with the Foundation’s naturalists. Visitors as well as locals can volunteer to assist the staff with a variety of activities. During whale season, one of the favorite events is the week long, “Ocean Camp,” for kids who love the sea and want to learn more about its fascinating creatures.

Children from many different countries eagerly look forward to Ocean Camp. The kids spend mornings on field trips with naturalists trained to provide the most direct encounter with sea life possible. In the afternoons, everyone returns to classrooms in the harbor, and the naturalists explain the life cycles of the whales and dolphins, how the health of the ocean affects the health of those who live in it, and how the kids and their families can help to protect the whole ecosystem.

Very early this morning, I had the pleasure of being an Ocean Camp volunteer. Twenty of the most glorious children in the galaxy, from ages five to ten, were very excited about going on a whale watch cruise with naturalists who were experts on Humpbacks. The children were so bright, so open, so radiantly alive and charmingly curious, they had me laughing, and almost crying, after the first 15 minutes.

We had a splendid whale watch. Our captain let us spend about an hour with one mother Humpback and her calf, their male escort, and a pod of spinner dolphins, who seemed to be just playing with the whale family, jumping and diving, to the delight of everyone, whales and humans, alike.

The children fell in love with the baby whale, who jumped out of the water enough for us to clearly see it several times. Near the end, the adult escort breeched, or jumped completely up out of the water, causing even the captain to exclaim, “Wow, that’s an incredible animal, look at the size of him! He’s giving us a rare gift–that’s only the second breech I’ve seen this year.” The kids were actually speechless–briefly:).

In spending time with these sweet, awake children, being encouraged to learn about the miraculous beauty and variety of life, and how to nurture it, I experienced a palpable sense of our future being in very good hands. I’m deeply grateful for today’s adventure, and lesson of loving care, and for the precious little ones who will bring this lesson forward to our world.

Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve. Our focus is on releasing the past, and moving into the year ahead with a willingness to experience more of the divine adventure, more of our essential oneness with God, and with each other. Let’s do it with the excitement and openness to love and learning the children at Ocean Camp showed in meeting the whales in Ma’alaea Bay.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-12-28T19:26:00.001-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

It’s a beautiful day on Maui, sky the color of the, “Sky Blue,” crayon in your childhood box of 100 Crayola Crayons. Big, round, white clouds float above the horizon. The trade winds have been up for the last few days, tossing palms about, fanning the sea into long, peaking waves that shine silver in the sunlight. It’s a good day to explore the mystery.

Yesterday I was telling you about my experience as a Unity Church chaplain, and how the practice of evolutionary spirituality has been impacting the prayers I say in church. I shared about being asked to give the opening prayer at our Christmas Eve service, held in a larger public venue than our regular meetings, attended by widely diverse mix of people.

I was grateful for the opportunity to be a part of the sacred celebration of the birth of Jesus. Christmas Eve was the most precious night my devout, Lutheran parents spent with my older brother and me each year. Christ’s birth was proof of God’s love, manifest on earth. For our stoic, Scandinavian family, it was the sweetest emotional connection we experienced.

The prospect of giving the opening prayer at the Unity Christmas Eve service also made me feel anxious about, “getting it right.” I wanted to celebrate the Christ who was, “the Son of God,” and, “the son of man,” while honoring Unity’s belief that all paths lead to God, while being available to the emerging call of the evolutionary impulse. It makes me smile, days later, the notion of being worried about getting mysteries so beyond my intellect, “right.”

My main concern was my ego casting it’s pervasive shadow on the message, of the prayer that could be for the greatest good being distorted through the lens of my egoic conditioning. After all, this would be the biggest stage I’d been on, in the active role of chaplain. My bravely choosing to, “not hide your light under a bushel,” would, of course, not proceed with smooth purity, however pure my intention. Our human condition predicts our ego rising up with our altruism showing up.

Let me explain the way, “ego,” is meant in this spiritual context. We are not referring to the ego proposed by Freud in his three part model of human consciousness. Freud described ego as the psychic structure representing the conscious self, that mediates between the id, the unconscious, and the superego, the parental/socially-constructed conscious. In this model, the ego is our friend, helping us sort through drives and patterns of which we are unaware, and the influence of cultural expectations. When modern psychologists use the term, “ego strength,” they are speaking of a healthy self concept, a cohesive, resilient personality, able to function successfully in the world.

Ah–were it that simple. For those of you who are saying, “Well, it is,” I’m feeling you. Really. Let’s just say that functioning successfully means different things to different people at different times. Many people brilliantly successful by worldly standards long for a deeper experience of life, for meaning, for truth, for freedom, for love–for the real thing.

People wanting more of the real thing become seekers, either diving more deeply into the philosophy and religion of their family traditions, or exploring other cultural and spiritual practices. Sooner or later, seekers discover a teaching about humanity living in the illusion of separation, of being separate from the essential mystery that set life in motion, and from each other.

As seekers, we passionately want to break through that illusion, but how can we see clearly? We begin to de-construct the story that created the illusion of separation from God, from each other. All the conditioning from eons of evolution, from culture, family, religion, all the defensive patterns developed as we make our way in a challenging world–this is what spiritual teachers refer to as ego. In psychological terms, we might call this ego the false self, the conditioned personality self, automatically analyzing each moment in reference to past threats, responding with learned defenses.

Yes, we can see pieces of Freud’s three-part model of consciousness throughout the spiritual definition of ego, but let’s not make ourselves crazy. Maybe it’s time for an article in, “Psychology Today.”

O.K., back to Christmas Eve and giving the opening prayer. To be able to show up in the moment, free from patterns of less than/more than, deeply resonating with Christ consciousness, available to the Holy Spirit/evolutionary impulse, was my intention.

I remembered Craig Hamilton (IntegralEnlightenment.com), with whom I’d been studying evolutionary spirituality, saying something like, “As we become more aware of how our ego works, are able to see it kick in, and then choose to act in ways more aligned with the greater good, the ego’s hold on us lessens, with practice. But we always have to assume it’s there. We always need to be willing to see more clearly, to ask for feedback, to go forward with the humility of not knowing for sure.”

My response to this truth was mixed. It was kind of a relief to know I couldn’t know, I couldn’t guarantee clarity. I also felt overwhelmed by the scope of this inquiry, the complexity. I had to release the hold my mind was taking, to let go of trying to get it right. I said a simple prayer, “Beloved Presence, thank you for showing up on Christmas Eve for the greatest good, beyond my personality self. I give myself to you, I lay my stuff at your feet.”

For the next week, I was aware of a caring presence, most of time just holding me. Sometimes, I became aware of a phrase, a feeling, that could be a sweet, deep part of the Christmas Eve prayer–but I had a sense of being guided towards something, rather than being given the thing whole. I meditated in an open way, intending to cling to nothing, yet gratefully receiving loving grace as I awoke to it.

On Christmas Eve, I arrived at Iao Theater early (not my pattern–I really must have been motivated beyond my usual conditioning:), hugged some friends and found the seat reserved for the prayer chaplain. There was a flutter of nerves in my stomach, and a flood of visual and auditory sensation as I took in the preparations for the service, the musicians, the choir, the hula hui.

For a half hour, I sat in stillness. There was a serene, expanding aliveness, that seemed to be the nature of everything.

The service started. I knew the opening prayer was after the first carol. The woman who was platforming was also leading the carols. After the first verse, she motioned me to come up on stage. I carefully climbed the steps (yes, in heels too high), and stood beside the singing woman, thinking the carol was about to end, smiling as I joined in singing what I thought was the last phrase. We didn’t sing more than two verses of any other carol that night, but, by God, as I stood in front of 500 people, I discovered we were going to sing all four stanzas of, “Joy to the World.”

Now, who knows those last two verses? I certainly didn’t, but here I am, singing away, hoping my memory will be jogged. My spirits were bright enough through the third stanza, but my memory had not been jogged much at all, and I had faked half the words as best I could. As my partner on stage zealously began the fourth verse, I felt a sinking sensation–a decision had to be made. Was it better to stop trying to sing, would that be more authentic? If I didn’t sing, would it detract from the field that was being created, would it distract someone? Would I be less connected to everyone who was also trying to make it through that tune?

As these questions are swirling through my mind, I happen to glance down and catch the eye of the only woman in our regular congregation with whom there is an ongoing discomfort (she said something nasty about me years ago, and hasn’t accepted any reconciliatory gesture). O.K., it could have been the lens of my ego, but I could have sworn she was smirking. She was close enough to see me faking the lyrics.

I could not go there. I chose to stay with the carol, singing the words I could make out. I put my focus on the woman who was leading the carol, watching her lips, letting her words be mine. I didn’t match her all that well, but I let go of needing to get it right. As the music ended, I gazed around the room, marveling at all the souls, at the one soul, present.

My partner on the platform introduced me. I looked into the faces across the theater, took a breath, made eye contact with a few more people, and began, “Sweet Beloved Presence,”…all of a sudden, my friend on the platform decided the microphone needed adjusting. She fumbled with it, finally removing the mic and in a stage whisper, told me, “I’ll just hold it.”

It felt like the whole theater held its breath, waiting to see, well, more where the energy would go, or what the quality of it would be, rather than what would happen next.

Magically, my personality self stopped being triggered, stopped worrying, stopped needing to figure out or control anything. I gently put my hand on the mic, lifted it to me and resumed praying. I felt connected with the soul of everyone present, in that serenely alive awareness I’d experienced meditating before the service. I can’t recreate the prayer, but I would like to share my memory of it with you.

“Sweet Beloved Presence, we know that your love created all that is. We know that your love, and your grace, and your mercy, are the only true powers at work in our lives.

Beloved Presence, on this night, we celebrate the birth of your love as Christ Jesus. We know that you loved us so much, that you sent one in form to be a way show-er, to teach us how to know you more, to love you more, to teach us how to love each other more. We rejoice in that Christ light.

Yet, even as we rejoice in the birth of Jesus, we know that there are those here with a care on their hearts. We are aware of our brothers and sisters around the world who need our love now, and so, Beloved, we claim the power of your love for these dear ones, not only for ourselves. We put our awareness on the space between us, knowing that in the space between, there is a deeper, higher reality, a truer experience of your love emerging.

Sweet Dear One, we lean forward, together, into the edge of that space between us, into that pure love, knowing that in that holy space, healing is possible, transformation is possible, knowing that together, the power of that evolving love is so much stronger than any challenge we could face alone. We open ourselves to your living Presence, that we may hear with the ear of the heart, that we may truly receive your love, as we give thanks for the gift of Christ.

Beloved Presence, we release this prayer unto your deep heart–we rely not on the brilliance of our minds, nor on our conditioned personality selves. We place our trust in the perfect unfolding, on this night, in the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

And so it is. Amen.”

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-12-27T15:48:00.001-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha Dear Ones,

It’s very early in the morning on Maui. The need for rest and reflection has been foremost since Christmas Eve.

I’ve been a Unity Church chaplain for almost 10 years. About a week before Unity’s Christmas Eve service, I was asked to give the opening prayer. I immediately said yes, then the scope of the responsibility set in. I wondered if I could show up the way that was needed, if I could be available to that deep edge of my being that allows the Holy Spirit/evolutionary impulse to come forth. I didn’t want my own personality conditioning, or my human mind, to write and deliver a prayer that would just sound good–I wanted a truer voice to speak.

Unity Church on Maui (unityonmaui.org) started having the chaplains give opening prayers for Sunday services about six months ago. We tend to follow a format for affirmative prayer used by many, “new thought,” groups, such as Religious Science. This form of affirmative prayer, sometimes called, “five-step prayer,” focuses on acknowledging divine presence, aligning with this holy presence, affirming one’s intention, giving thanks and releasing the prayer to divine outcome.

For the past few months, my prayers have increasingly included evolutionary language and concepts. I find myself saying things like, “Beloved Presence, we know that there is not only this now moment–there is also this now moment, becoming–we lean forward, together, into the edge of that becoming, into the space between us, for in the space between us, there is an awareness emerging of our essential unity, of a deeper, higher love that is our true nature, a sacred reality that is so much more powerful than any challenge we might face on our own, that is becoming stronger each day.”

I pray with my eyes open, looking into the eyes of people around the room. When my prayers at Unity became more evolutionary, some people whose heads were bowed began to look up at me, with an expression both surprised and curious. As I continued to pray, I saw people’s faces soften, open, then seem to brighten, with a quality of hope. I especially noticed that when words of, “leaning together into the space between us, where we are more available to consciousness emerging, where there is a love and wisdom awakening between us that is so much stronger than any trial we face alone,” that some people sat straighter, some began gently crying, all appearing to release isolation, to embrace connection.

Together, with my brothers and sisters, I felt the sweet comfort of being one heart , and with that experience of unity, a deeper motivation to do the right thing–for God, for myself, for these people who are part of me, and who, with me, are all part of God.

Each time this happened, I was left with a feeling of amazement. I would come with a frame for the occasion on any given Sunday, but never write a prayer, always allowing it to unfold in the moment. I grew to trust that a greater presence would show up, in this new, exciting way, and felt a precious alignment with our small congregation.

On Christmas Eve, attendance is always much larger. Unity moves its service to the Iao Theater in Wailuku town, which seats about 500. A wide range of people come, mainland visitors from traditional churches, new age Mauians on a variety of paths, and locals. I felt some trepidation about giving the opening prayer with this bigger group, with such different beliefs and expectations. The concern was about my egoic conditioning. Could my personality self get out of the way enough to express as the evolutionary impulse? Or would the false self feel compelled to put on a show on this bigger stage?

My ego wasn’t my only concern. There was a call on my heart to truly honor Jesus as the birth of God’s love in form, as God’s love made manifest for humanity.

Unity was founded by a passionately Christian couple, Charles and Myrtle Fillmore. Their intention was to explore Christ consciousness under a big umbrella, accepting that all paths lead to God, welcoming people of all faiths to come together to study and celebrate a greater truth of being and living. My experience in Unity was that while every effort was made to acknowledge the beauty of all paths, there was at times a reluctance to speak of its Christian roots. There was a sensitivity to the number of, “recovering fundamentalists,” in the Unity movement, those who had been wounded in conservative Christian churches where they experienced condemnation, and who could be offended by the mere mention of Jesus’ name.

I get this–and, there is an expanding awareness that allows us to heal, to hear with the ear of the heart. My former Unity minister, Rev. Mary Omwake, told me about a conversation she had with Rev. Michael Beckwith, of Apage, in Los Angeles. He said, “Maybe we are healed enough now to start talking about Jesus again.” Amen.

So, how do I honor Jesus on the night we celebrate his birthday, on a Unity platform, being available as the evolutionary impulse, without my ego staging the gig? What would you do?

This post is becoming so very long–I need a little food and a walk along Ma’alaea Bay. Can I tell you tomorrow what happened? Thank you, Beloved.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: affirmative prayer, Agape, chaplain, Charles Fillmore, Christ, Christmas eve, consciousness, counseling, counseling from Maui, enlightenment, evolutionary community, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, find a spiritual counselor, finding a spiritual psychologist, God, Hawaii, integral, integral enlightenment, integral spirituality, intuitive, Jesus, Julianne Hanson, love, Mary Omwake, Maui, Michael Beckwith, Myrtle Fillmore, phone counseling, Prayer, Psychology, psychotherapy, Relationship Advice, relationship counseling, Skype counseling, spiritual advice, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spiritual relationship, spirituality, transpersonal psychologist, Unity, We space

Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-12-24T14:35:00.002-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

It’s Christmas Eve, the most sacred night of the year for the Christian community.

If you’ve read my last couple posts introducing evolutionary spirituality and evolutionary relationship, you might be wondering, “What does Jesus have to do with it?” For me, coming from a conservative Lutheran home, Jesus Christ is an essential part of the divine mystery.

Exactly what part of the mystery Jesus plays has been a central question of my spiritual journey. As a child, there wasn’t a question about the role of Christ on Sunday mornings. Nor was there any question of Jesus’ role in our home on a daily basis, as my devout mother reminded the family to show the love and forgiveness demonstrated by our savior.

I remember my first questionings of the fundamentalist interpretation of Bible scripture. It was one of the Sundays our small mid-western church had a visiting missionary. As he earnestly shared stories of victoriously converting the poor heathens, thereby saving them from eternal damnation in the fires of hell, I experienced an unfamiliar sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had heard these stories before, but somehow, on that morning, there was a malaise that gripped me, an awareness that was encroaching upon six years of the best-intentioned conditioning (yes, I was only six).

I accepted that God so loved the world that He sent Jesus to show us how to love each other. My parents tried to follow Christ’s example, and they were very loving towards my brother and me, and to our neighbors. God must be happy with them, and me, I assured myself. Maybe God would be happier with people from other countries if they followed Jesus, too–but would God, who loved us so much, really send them to hell forever if they didn’t?

I just couldn’t buy it anymore. The veil of separation from those who had appeared to be different from me was in place for six years, and then simply had to lift. I remember sitting in the pew, watching the missionary’s face increasingly flush as he admonished us about the torments of hell waiting for the unconfessed, and thinking to myself, “he’s trying to be good, he just doesn’t understand that God and Jesus love everybody, no matter where people live or what kind of church their parents go to.”

So, there you have it. I cannot pretend differently, my dear friends who subscribe to the orthodox doctrine of the exclusivity of Christ Jesus. The condemnation of those from other religious traditions that I could not stomach as an innocent child, I cannot accept now.

Yet, my relationship with Jesus continues, grows in depth and breadth. My capacity to understand and appreciate the miracle of his birth, his living example of divine love in human form, his sacrifice, his promise, increases as I experience my own heartbreaks and joys along life’s path. I identify as a Christian. I often find myself in between cultural/ spiritual groups, not enough Jesus for some, too much for others.

During the first year of my immersion in the Evolutionary Life Transformation Program (ELTP), an online, global, evolutionary spirituality community created by Craig Hamilton (IntegralEnlightenment.com), I helped create a small, “Interest/Learning Group,” for Christians within the larger group of students. Together, we explored our relationship with Christ, and the impact of the evolutionary perspective on our personal experience of Jesus. All of us were passionate about embracing the evolutionary impulse urging us to expanded our identity as, “We,” aligned with sacred deep care, God, and becoming responsible for living as that. All of us discovered an even deeper, realer connection with Christ throughout this process of inquiry.

What does Jesus have to do with evolutionary/integral spirituality? He is the best evidence of it I have found. How, exactly, it all works, I don’t pretend to know. I only know that on the eve of his birth, my heart rejoices. I believe that Christ is God’s love made manifest. My life is more aligned with his teachings now, than ever. Even though I tremble with the enormity of that not yet known, I can tenderly, fiercely, look into the eyes of my little six-year-old self and say, “You were onto something, sweetie–keep asking, keep finding.”

Happy Christmas Eve.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: chaplain, Christ, Christmas eve, consciousness, counseling, Craig Hamilton, ELTP, enlightenment, evolutionary community, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, finding a spiritual psychologist, God, integral, integral enlightenment, integral spirituality, Jesus, Julianne Hanson, love, phone counseling, Prayer, Psychology, psychotherapy, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychotherapy, transpersonal psychologist, Unity, We space

Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-12-23T20:57:00.011-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Friends,

Hope you enjoyed the introduction to evolutionary spirituality.

The two years I’ve been studying with Craig Hamilton, IntegralEnlightenment.com, have been rich and rewarding. Evolutionary spirituality/enlightenment is the single most thrilling human consciousness movement I have discovered in all my years as a seeker. I’m developing a passion for applying the evolutionary perspective to relationships, both in my own life, and as a transpersonal psychologist working with people who believe more is possible in their connection with others.

Much of the writing on evolutionary enlightenment is in philosophical, and/or integral, language. I’m thinking of Ken Wilber’s brilliant book, “Integral Spirituality,” and the writings of other integral thinkers. Ken Wilber is probably our foremost post-modern philosopher, the father of all things, “integral.” Integral theory views human experience as a synthesis of knowledge that evolves in stages of consciousness, each stage including and transcending the next.

You can see how this perspective lends itself to an exploration of the evolution of our spiritual awareness. If one does not, “speak integral,” and most of us do not (I am far from fluent), it can be challenging to understand the evolutionary conversation.

I’m getting more clear that part of my passion for creating an evolutionary frame for relationship involves discovering the language that communicates concepts steeped in philosophy and theology in a practical way. Hmm. Pray for me.:)

Let’s look for this together. Whenever any of you find something in this ballpark that really speaks to you with powerful, simple clarity, please share it as a comment, or send it to me at my email drj@mauispiritualcounseling.com. We need all the help we can give each other.

As I read over my last couple posts, I realized that most of us have only heard the term, “evolutionary,” refer to biology, and the cultural debate between the scientific and religious communities about the origin of life. There is bitter controversy around this debate, people finding themselves in camps with ideological lines fiercely drawn. So–please let me explain the way I’m holding the evolutionary point of view, and what it has come to mean to me.

I’ve always been in the third, “camp,” those who believe a sacred mystery, God, set the evolutionary process in motion. I experience the unfolding of life as a divine process, occurring within a matrix of deep care–that life has, as its blueprint, the innately loving nature of that mystery. Our human consciousness is a part of that unfolding–just as all species learn, adapt and progress, so does our awareness. What might our evolving consciousness enable us to understand? How does a greater awareness challenge us?

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying, “A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest-a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty (spaceandmotion.com).”

A spiritual interpretation of the evolutionary process invites us to free ourselves from that, “optical illusion,” of separateness, to have an actual, living experience of being, “all God’s children,” of being one life, one heartbeat, evolving from the very DNA of the creator, “made in God’s image.”

The essentially hopeful message is that no matter how dark things appear at any moment in time, humanity is on the right track. Choices made by individuals that harm others create chaos and despair. Yet, these acts are not supported by our divine blueprint, and cannot be sustained across time. Our consciousness, our capacity for lovingkindness, is evolving.

What is passionately and relentlessly honed and expanded is our innate goodness, our evolving capacity to dissolve perceived differences between us and the hatred and violence that come from those beliefs. The evolutionary impulse urges us to dissolve boundaries not only between ourselves and others, but between ourselves and our creator, to become aware of our sense of being separate from God as a false construct of an earlier stage of consciousness.

Mercy. I experience a deep and abiding resonance with truth as I take this in–and an almost overwhelming challenge. Here’s the encouraging news–our personality selves, burdened by defensive patterns, our human minds at their current capacity, are not expected to meet the evolutionary call of the future. There is a power beyond us, within us, that is moving us forward, regardless of our individual choices. As we become awake to the call of the good, the true, the beautiful, the holy, we are responsible for acting in alignment with it, to do the right thing.

As a humanity now evolved enough to be aware of being conscious, we can choose to actively support the sacred process of becoming more like the creative, loving power, the mystery of God, that caused everything that exists to come into form. Let us ponder what choice we can make today that will bring us into greater alignment with that divine love.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Tags: Albert Einstein, consciousness, Craig Hamilton, enlightenment, evolutionary enlightenment, evolutionary impulse, evolutionary relationship, evolutionary spirituality, find a spiritual psychologist, God, Hawaii, integral, integral enlightenment, integral spirituality, Julianne Hanson, Ken Wilber, love, Maui, phone counseling, pray, Psychology, Skype counseling, Spiritual Counseling, spiritual psychologist, spiritual psychotherapy, spirituality, transpersonal psychologist

Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-12-22T02:11:00.033-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Transpersonal Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

Tonight I’d like to begin sharing with you the essential dynamics of evolutionary relationship, as I have come to understand them.

For the past two years, I have been immersed in the study of evolutionary spirituality with Craig Hamilton, a teacher based in Northern California. Craig’s site is IntegralEnlightenment.com. He studied for many years with the best-known proponent of evolutionary spirituality, Andrew Cohen. Andrew’s new book, “Evolutionary Enlightenment,” available on Amazon, is a great resource for those seeking to understand the evolutionary perspective.

One of the most fascinating and hopeful discoveries of evolutionary community has been the emergence of a, “We space.” This, “We,” is an experience of mutual inner knowing between people that seems to be beyond personality conditioning, a visceral awareness of something that was previously a spiritual metaphor of unity, of us being, “all God’s children.” There are updated metaphors referring to humanity as, “one life, ” or, “one heartbeat.”

Evolutionaries speak of the, “evolutionary impulse,” or the active face of God, the forward-moving divine intention that Mother Teresa called upon us to embody, because, “God has no hands but ours.” My background is Christian, and my purest experience of what my ministers would call, “The Holy Spirit,” is how I experience the evolutionary impulse. For me, there is no difference in the spiritual power to which these terms seek to give expression. There is the same ever-present mystery, the quality of deep care, a sacred fire urging us to recognize each other as brothers and sisters, holding us responsible for doing the right thing, motivating us to act for the higher good, in the name of love.

Craig Hamilton has written, “Principles of Evolutionary Culture: How you can create a microcosm of Heaven on Earth.” These 10 principles, written with inspiring clarity, offer practices relating to each other as the We beyond individual egoic conditioning, responsive to the evolutionary impulse’s call to a more passionately conscious, sacred life, to more powerfully creative, loving, mutual relationships. The principles were intended to facilitate groups–I will paraphrase the principles as a framework for relationship. Visit IntegralEnlightment.com to view Craig Hamilton’s original, “Principles of Evolutionary Culture.”

The first of the 10 principles is, “A Wholehearted Intention to Transform.”

Bring all of yourselves to this relationship. Recognize that this is a place where your own deepest longing for a greater life, a holy life, can be engaged and expressed. Have the love, trust, and courage to give your heart and soul to the way you will be learning to relate with each other, and with all others. Do this in the knowledge that the single most transformative power in the world is the power of our intention. If you want your life to change in a profound way, it will. If you want your relationship to change for the greater good, it will. With that kind of intention behind you, your relationship can be a powerful catalyst for waking up together, for experiencing a deeper, higher love that will inspire the world.

Wow. What a pure, powerful, righteous intention. I feel my heart bursting open with hope for something better than I’ve ever known before when I read those words. What would happen if you committed to relating to your partner in this light? How would your life be different if you related to everyone with such a sacred intention?

Something to think about, to feel into, to let in. Just receive this as a gift. Consider embarking on an amazing adventure towards the real thing, together.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

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Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-12-20T20:52:00.003-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson
Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Everyone,

I want to begin tonight by telling all of you how much I appreciate you. Each person who opens their mind and heart to creating more happy, loving relationships is an inspiration to me, and a blessing to humanity.

Today I met with a new client. His courage, and his willingness to embrace change, to explore possibilities for authentic relationship, just blows me away. I have a certain expectation of those who have been studying conscious connection, that they will at least try to improve the quality of their friendships and intimate relationships. But when someone whose life has been focused on business/corporate realms shows up with brilliant openness to interpersonal transformation, I am truly amazed and grateful.

Let’s talk about the question from a local couple asking for suggestions on how to use some of the Christmas spirit to strengthen their marriage. O.K., the wife asked the question, but she did say that if she’s smart about picking a time (not when the husband is hungry, or watching the big game), her guy is actually interested in doing things that bring them closer emotionally and physically. It doesn’t hurt to remind the man that one often leads to the other.

I heard a wonderful suggestion for deepening and enlivening the relationship between couples who have been together for awhile from Patricia Albere, who founded EvolutionaryCollective.com. (Patricia is offering a 5-week on-line course on Evolutionary Relationship the beginning of January, for a very reasonable cost. She is a pioneer on the cutting edge of evolving mutuality in relationships. I strongly recommend going to EvolutionaryCollective.com and checking out this opportunity.)

The suggestion for couples seeking more genuine mutuality in their partnership, is to each write down a list of what they are passionate about, and what they would like to have more of in their lives. Then they both share their lists. Together, they make a new list, ranking all their passions in order of how important each one is for the happiness of their marriage.

Keep in mind that a healthy marriage has a wide range of needs, from spiritual depth and alignment of life purpose, to emotional connection and sexual satisfaction, to just plain, G-rated fun. Really, make sure having fun makes it into the top five.

When the couple has their list ranking passions most important to their marriage, they carefully look at each one, exploring it’s role in their relationship. Where is the passion working to bring them closer? Where is it creating uncomfortable distance? Be honest with your mate. The fastest, most effective way to change is to accept the truth about how things are now.

Explore how each passion might be enjoyed in a way that is most rewarding for both partners. Just throw out ideas, don’t worry about getting it right. See yourselves on an adventure of discovery, with the good and noble purpose of more ease, understanding and pleasure between you. Ask who is more able to change/enhance how each passion is enjoyed/experienced. Agree to be teachers/coaches for each other, “I’ll show you how to have a better time with this, if you’ll help me appreciate that.”

Again, explore with the spirit of adventure. This isn’t about duty, about obeying external rules and meeting standard expectations. This is about the two of you, those two people who met and liked each other a whole lot, that couple who had such a good time together, they decided to hook-up every day.

The heart can open at Christmas in a very tender way. We celebrate the birth of Divine Love in human form. Surely the new possibility of conscious love that Christ embodied can help couples become more conscious about sharing the passions that bring their love alive.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-12-19T04:21:00.002-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson

Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive

Maui Spiritual Counseling

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Happy week before Christmas, Dear Ones.

This can be an intense time of year--intensely sweet, intensely meaningful, and, for some of us, intensely challenging. Memories, desires, expectations, those we have lost, those we hope to meet--all mixed up with our deepest religious beliefs, traditions, and spiritual

questions yet unanswered.

I've decided to post every day for the rest of 2011, to hold hands and hearts with you through the new year. I'll try to answer questions on any topic you would like to bring up, or maybe just share my point of view with you--about relationships, or anything impacting how you

show up in the world, or how you would like to show up in the world. I'll write about my favorite topics, happy relationships and evolutionary spirituality. The intersection of these, evolutionary relationship, has become a great passion of mine over the past two years. Intrigued? Good. It's such exciting stuff, can't wait to explore it with you!

Tonight (I usually write at night--my eyes may be open wider in the morning, but my perspective is wider at the close of the day), I'd like to respond to some questions on relationship I've gotten from Maui locals. People on Maui are the same as people everywhere, mellower, on good days, but our issues, our dreams, are the same.

In my last post, I asked singles looking for love to be open to meeting each other in different ways, and encouraged those who have been disdainful and/or fearful of online dating to give it a try. Once you've met someone interesting through a dating site, what comes next?

A lovely woman told me she is involved in an online romance, and seriously wondering if the man with whom she is emailing on a dating site could be, "the one." This man lives on the other side of world from her, she has only seen still photos of him, but his written messages, and his voice on the phone, have created a strong feeling of resonance. Her social life is focused around the notes and calls she shares with her online admirer. She asked for my feedback, almost daring me to give a reality check in the face of her exuberance.

I'm a romantic. I believe exotic things do occur and can indeed succeed. Here's the thing--we don't know until we know. We can't, can we? If the guy lived down the block, I might be saying, "open your mind and heart to the qualities that are important to you--if this guy seems to have them, even if he isn't the type you're usually attracted to, go ahead and meet him for coffee. Just spend an hour having fun getting to know a new person, without any expectations, and see what happens. You might be surprised." The only risk would be an hour of the woman's time.

When your on-line interest lives thousands of miles away, the risks are much greater. If you truly want the real thing, versus an intriguing fantasy, then you need to take steps to make your understanding of who the other person is as real as possible, as soon as possible. Skype, for goodness sakes, get a real look at them.

I had a tender, steamy, writing and phone relationship with a man I met online. He seemed wonderful. He kept putting off getting a Skype account, finding reason after reason (it's free, after all, how hard could it be?). I got a sinking feeling--and sure enough, when I persisted, he stopped communicating. Two disappointing weeks later, he emailed saying he no longer looked like his photos, and felt too badly about himself to risk letting me see him. This was a man with the seeming confidence of John Wayne in our prior interactions. He said he was going to put online dating on hold and work on himself. I wished him well, and wondered if he really would stop messaging women on the dating site until he felt good about revealing himself, or if he would just find another woman with whom to create an illusion.

Enjoy an online flirtation--but don't think you know until you know. Do Verify ID, Skype, trust your intuition about any red flags. But most importantly, keep your dance card open. Keep flirting. Go on dates. Until you are actually in a formally committed relationship, don't live like you are. There is a spectacularly grand thing about being single--we get to kiss new people.:)

So--we're back to my respectfully daring and encouraging you to flirt--go get some Christmas mistletoe action. It's really an O.K. thing for good, spiritual people to do.

My next post will answer a question about couples connecting during the holidays.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

Ask Dr. Julianne

2011-11-13T22:28:00.006-10:00

MauiSpiritualCounseling.com

Prayer Guided Psychotherapy
Dr. Julianne Hanson
Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Everyone,

This week has been full of questions about looking for love, keeping love, knowing when love has gone, saying goodbye to a love and preparing to love again.

I’m tempted to write two separate posts, one for women and one for men. There is much advice available that addresses one sex or the other–at some point, I will go there for a couple weeks–but not this time. There are some basic truths I’m learning about intimate relationships that I’d like to share with you all.

For singles looking:

Try to get clear on what kind of relationship you want–for some of us, this is not as easy as it might seem. Write two columns, “Want,” and, “Don’t Want.” Tell the truth. Read them. Notice your visceral response to everything you’re reading. Is it accurate & current, or based on some past experience? You may need to update, or add a “Maybe,” column.

Once you’ve got some clarity, do something about it. Let go of all preconceived ideas about right or wrong ways to meet someone. If you have an issue with online dating, all that means is that you’re probably older than you’d like to admit. Get over it, already–it’s what almost everybody under 40 does, what everybody under 30 does, and a 20 year-old doesn’t even understand the question. However it used to be, where has it gotten you up to now?

Give yourself permission to flirt with everybody. I’m not suggesting you be salacious, or inappropriate in any way, just fully alive and willing to share your enjoyment of life with those around you.

Take this test–the next time you see someone attractive to you, what is your automatic response? Do you make eye contact and smile, or do you look away? If you’re looking away, stop that! Gaze into their eyes & smile–what could it hurt? If the person is psychologically healthy & open to love, they will receive your attention as a compliment.

Practice flirting with anyone in your category of interest. Build your ability to talk about your appreciation of life, and the small things you notice about someone that please you. Communicate this way when you’re out in the world. When you meet a potential lover whose charms stun you, you’ll be much less likely to run. You’ll be more likely to do what you do everyday.

For women (O.K., I can’t help it), this initially needs to lean towards sustained eye contact (five whole seconds, I mean it) and smiling. If the man appears terrified, thank God you’re getting the scoop up front. More likely, he’ll be intrigued and approach you.

For men, you need to gaze into a woman’s eyes, smile and speak. Yes, for our sake, for your sake, say something. A simple, “You look good today,” is a gift to any sane female (I know there are women with issues–just duck & move on).

Let yourself explore these ways of connecting. Regard it as a fun experiment, no pressure, just a juicy adventure. When we allow ourselves to be playful with each other, much anxiety falls away. Our willingness to enjoy life can be our most compelling quality.

I’ll stop here for now. Go out and flirt. I respectfully dare and encourage you.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

MauiSpiritualCounseling.com

Happy To Be Writing Again

2011-11-13T22:05:00.003-10:00

Spirit of Happiness Counseling
Dr. Julianne Hanson
Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive

Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Aloha Dear Ones,

This has been a fascinating, challenging, deeply & unexpectedly transformative year. I’m very happy to let my friends know that I have begun writing again.

My plan is to post at least weekly. So much evolutionary love is coming forward, posts may need to be more frequent. We will see what Spirit wants.

I’m also available to new clients now, either in person (house/hotel calls) on Maui, or by phone/Skype globally.

I would love to hear from you. If you have a question you would like a spiritual shrink to answer, consider the column I proposed last year, ”Ask Dr. Julianne,” open for business. Please write your question in the comment section & I’ll answer as soon as I can.

If you would like to talk with me in a counseling session, please leave me a voicemail at 1-808-283-8431 and we can schedule a time. You might visit the, “Session Request,” page on my site and complete the questionnaire to get us started.

I’m so happy and grateful to be connecting with you all again–I look eagerly forward to many high & deep insights and inspirations in the sacred space between us.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne

Spiritual Psychologist from Maui Explains Origin of 'Prayer Guided Psychotherapy'

2009-12-08T23:12:00.001-10:00

Spirit of Happiness Counseling
Dr. Julianne Hanson Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive
Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

When I needed emotional support and wanted a counselor, I looked for an experienced, credentialed professional who had a spiritual orientation to their work. I was in Southern California at the time, and thought there would be many such individuals from which to choose.
The counselors I found fell largely into two groups--either traditionally trained therapists who viewed spiritual experience as a symptom, or alternative practitioners who lacked the training to guide anyone through a difficult psychological passage. With the first group, the traditionalists, I could count on standardized treatment plans and professional ethics, but not an understanding of my spiritual needs. The alternative group offered a variety of intriguing healing modalities that acknowledged my spiritual practice.  However, they had no clinical experience with psychological disorders and would not have recognized the need for a treatment different from their own.
I found a few licensed therapists who described themselves as spiritual--and who stated they were open to talking about their clients' religious beliefs if the client brought it up.  None of them felt it was appropriate to actually counsel clients on the impact or practice of their beliefs.
Then there were the counselors affiliated with a particular religion or church. These therapists would prescribe the group's scriptures and offer clients their group's interpretation of the beliefs required for peace
of mind.
All these individuals appeared well-intentioned. Yet, I didn't feel any of them were offering the depth of understanding I was seeking.
My insurance didn't cover any of the more 'spiritual' licensed therapists--I decided to try the psychologist referred by my HMO.   Being a doctoral student in psychology, I told this attractive woman my diagnosis, 'Situational Disorder w/mixed emotional features.' The lady was outraged and pointed out that I was the patient, she was the therapist and would determine what was wrong with me. I did not return.
Happily, a couple of colleagues supported me through this challenging time.
When I was able to meditate on the entire adventure of finding the right therapist, I resolved to become the kind of counselor for whom I had been searching.
In my next post, I will explain the philosophy of 'Prayer Guided Psychotherapy,' the basic components a client would encounter, and my own orientation to the work.

Spiritual Psychologist from Maui Offers Advice for Happy Relationships

2009-11-30T20:51:00.000-10:00

Dr. Julianne Hanson: Psychologist-Chaplain-Intuitive - "Ask Dr. Julianne" - Aloha from Maui, Hawaii!

Welcome to my blog. I am happy and grateful to be sharing my heart with you.

The years I have lived on the beautiful island of Maui have been a kind of retreat. I have had the gift of time--to go within, to explore my consciousness, challenge my beliefs, experiment with different points of view. Most importantly, my years in the Land of Aloha have inspired a deeper relationship with my dearest friend, the Holy Spirit. Whatever name we give to the Divine Presence, I believe the sweet experience of sacred love is shared by us all.
It is easy to feel a loving connection to life in Hawaii--trade winds carry a soft scent of flowers that caresses each breath. Days on end of blue skies and even bluer ocean waves can comfortingly mesmerize.

And yet, for those of us who live here, life as a spiritual being having a human experience has the requirements of life everywhere.

We must find ourselves, find our friends, find our faith and our purpose. When we look for satisfying results of our searching, the best evidence we have of life well lived are happy relationships--whether the relationship is with ourselves, our family, friends, colleagues, our lover or mate, or with our God.

I am both humbled and excited about inviting you along on my own adventure in creating happy relationships. Perhaps my lessons will spare you some heartbreak, comfort or encourage you, even bring you laughter or inspiration.

There are many questions I am asked in my roles of psychologist, chaplain and intuitive. I will do my best to answer some of these as the Spirit guides me. This blog may evolve into, "Ask Dr. Julianne," or such a column might be added to the website--we will see what the future holds.

Thank you for visiting me. God bless you in creating the happy relationships of your dreams. I so look forward to knowing you better.

Love and blessings,

Dr. Julianne